So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
