haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
