my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
