I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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