remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
