Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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