the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
