I skipped work to stalk him.
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.