those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
If its not for food we ain't going out.