omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.