Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.