listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail