I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I deserve this hangover.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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