hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
