Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
