Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
