god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
