I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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