I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
