He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
