If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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