The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
