The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
