I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
