I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
