I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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