I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
