He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
