Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
