dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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