ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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