In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
