I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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