What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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