Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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