How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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