Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
