I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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