we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Someone shattered a urinal.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
