What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
