He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
