We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
