Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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