Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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