that's an acceptable place to lick
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
