Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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