Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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