I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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