So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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