When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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