I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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