PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
