just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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