another moral hangover. fuck.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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