I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
