yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
