he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
