Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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