Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
