OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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