I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
