I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize