Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair

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  (409): nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair http://tfl.nu/hpi9
  Replies (26) Good night (513) Bad night (4381)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious

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  (408): just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious http://tfl.nu/av2y
  Replies (11) Good night (4532) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now

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  (914): every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now http://tfl.nu/173b
  Replies (25) Good night (8953) Bad night (1417)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.

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  (213): dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring. http://tfl.nu/vd81
  Replies (14) Good night (4428) Bad night (1254)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.

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  (240): and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well. http://tfl.nu/nn8d
  Replies (12) Good night (3069) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.

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  (443): I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites. http://tfl.nu/mbgc
  Replies (13) Good night (2533) Bad night (1492)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"

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  (859): in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick" http://tfl.nu/v34k
  Replies (18) Good night (4783) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for

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  (909): What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for http://tfl.nu/e5by
  Replies (18) Good night (1643) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!

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  (+44): He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again! http://tfl.nu/ztd6
  Replies (8) Good night (748) Bad night (1291)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?

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  (330): Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship? http://tfl.nu/gnhb
  Replies (1) Good night (804) Bad night (241)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.

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  (405): Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day. http://tfl.nu/fi0j
  Replies (4) Good night (561) Bad night (246)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?

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  (801): What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE? http://tfl.nu/0e68
  Replies (2) Good night (584) Bad night (200)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.

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  (250): It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt. http://tfl.nu/flxk
  Replies (2) Good night (427) Bad night (218)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.

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  (407): Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone. http://tfl.nu/oywy
  Replies (4) Good night (274) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  "Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"

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  (941): "Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?" http://tfl.nu/ffpa
  Replies (2) Good night (546) Bad night (231)

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