Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.