Texts From Last Night

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  (406): View more from Montana

  she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?

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  (406): she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again? http://tfl.nu/5xp9
  Replies (19) Good night (3388) Bad night (777)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'

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  (973): my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!' http://tfl.nu/vh00
  Replies (27) Good night (1074) Bad night (3331)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.

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  (616): The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes. http://tfl.nu/pvjr
  Replies (43) Good night (3495) Bad night (1151)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"

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  (303): You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty" http://tfl.nu/y2bi
  Replies (21) Good night (1191) Bad night (6089)
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  (562): View more from California

  not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.

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  (562): not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it. http://tfl.nu/xhfr
  Replies (24) Good night (4298) Bad night (1269)
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  (949): View more from California

  I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.

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  (949): I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door. http://tfl.nu/w7kk
  Replies (14) Good night (4092) Bad night (1281)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.

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  (918): The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me. http://tfl.nu/3sv8
  Replies (16) Good night (3498) Bad night (1228)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?

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  (260): It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed? http://tfl.nu/04go
  Replies (3) Good night (1183) Bad night (645)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out

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  (412): I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out http://tfl.nu/phlg
  Replies (6) Good night (1162) Bad night (554)
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  (619): View more from California

  According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.

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  (619): According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night. http://tfl.nu/q1q9
  Replies (2) Good night (909) Bad night (485)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.

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  (971): Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love. http://tfl.nu/5pup
  Replies (6) Good night (1083) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.

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  (601): At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by. http://tfl.nu/1wlf
  Replies (8) Good night (1054) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."

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  (903): Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits." http://tfl.nu/82c3
  Replies (6) Good night (898) Bad night (371)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.

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  (832): I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head. http://tfl.nu/ufex
  Replies (1) Good night (546) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  "Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"

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  (832): "Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??" http://tfl.nu/om7v
  Replies (6) Good night (403) Bad night (205)

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