Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Randomize
