are you still at the devil's house?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
