I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
