Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Can Purell be used as lube?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize